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When’s the last time you tooted your own horn? Like, really gave it a good honk, so loud that the folks in the nosebleeds heard it? If you feel good about your place in the world, get sought out for your superpowers, and are paid fairly for what you contribute, your horn is likely already tooting systematically in the background. Other people are probably pulling out their trumpets on your behalf too. But if not, you gotta learn to toot your own horn. My clients hate this part of our career design work together. Maybe you do too. And I hate that y’all hate it because your Tooting Fear™ is often the very thing standing between you and your fulfilling, lucrative, sustainable dream role. When you avoid tooting, you stay stuck in the status quo. Plus, the world needs your passionate powerhouse skills, experiences, and energy pointed at the products, movements, and creative work that are going to help us during this challenging chapter in human history. Do it for us! So I wanna dissolve the most common Tooting Fears™ so you can step up: People will think I’m a braggadocious assholeHumility is prized across cultures. Australia and New Zealand have "tall poppy syndrome," and a Japanese proverb warns that the nail that sticks out gets hammered down. No wonder self-promotion feels icky! Here's the reframe: there's a difference between bragging and volunteering. Bragging is about inflating yourself (asshole behavior). Volunteering is raising your hand so you can better serve others (toot-worthy behavior). I can’t take credit for this! It was a team effort!The spirit of this one is noble: nothing gets done alone. Even as a solopreneur, I can't claim sole credit when a client hits their goal. It takes at least two of us, and often many more. But I see people refuse to name the metric they moved, the product they shipped, or the process they built because they "didn't do it alone." So name the win and your specific part in it. Oh no, now I’ll actually need to deliver on this...This is the most nefarious one. Sometimes humility is really a cover for fear. When you say you can do something, people will expect you to. That's terrifying, especially when you're pivoting into work that matters to you. It's much easier to say "I could totally do [dream job], but…" than to step up and do it. So be brave, and remember that you close the imposter gap by doing the work, not by thinking your way into confidence. Will you pick up your horn and give it a toot? What’s at stake if you don’t? If you need help, you know where to find me 🎺 Onward! P.S. I'm hosting another How to Become Layoff-Proof webinar for the Tech Ladies community on October 21. If you're feeling a lil' (to a lot) stressed about navigating this wild market, this is for you ❤️ |
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It’s time I come clean: I’ve been Trojan Horse-ing some woo woo shit into my work with extremely serious, science-first, analytically-minded professionals. Before I defend myself (and hypnotize you too) let’s define woo woo: Woo woo is the woman who waltzes in wearing a crushed velvet fringed robe, dripping in turquoise jewelry, and derives meaning from your anecdote based on the position of the stars in the sky. It’s being engulfed by the scent of incense as a kind soul hands you a...
This weekend, my dear friend Miloš let me ride his VIP coattails at the Daisy Chain Fields music festival, as he was capturing footage for his documentary about the iconic alt rock band, Garbage. Between carefree moments belting “Pink Pony Club,” dancing in flowery Doc Martens to “Denial is a River,” and screaming the moment Alanis Morissette was announced as the surprise guest (see below), I was doin’ my thing: getting curious about the people who make this work. The whole thing was so...
This is a photo of a page in my journal from July 2021: At the time, I was working in tech middle management in exchange for big $$$ and Cadillac benefits for me and my partner. I helped people pivot careers during my lunch breaks and after hours, and admired the creative entrepreneurs my company supported—but never in a million years thought I could be like them. I also sang little ditties around the house and sent my friends funny Memoji songs over text. But I didn't dare call myself a...